I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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