I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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