She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
