you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
