I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
