I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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