How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
this just has baby written all over it
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
