wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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