This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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