Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
