AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
