big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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