Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
