was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
