Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
