Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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