I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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