What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
