Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
