You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
