Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
