I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
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