Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You were trust falling into bushes
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
