I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
