everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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