i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
