I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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