Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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