Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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