If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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