I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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