before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
