So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
