Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
