we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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