we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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