I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
