He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
