somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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