So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
