there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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