ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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