I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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