OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
