Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
