Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
