We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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