fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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