I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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