AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
