One girl and one boy is just not enough.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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