butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
