I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
